Have you ever wondered if vampires may indeed be real? Our culture feeds on this curiosity as popular movies and television portray the mystery of vampires as people we want to know, be friends with, even that they may have a soul and can care about others. Although we adhere to some of the well-known beliefs about vampires that...
...they come out at night,
...they feed off of blood, and
...they do not like garlic,
we are still curious and allow them to invade our lives. How can being aware of these beliefs actually help us defend ourselves from being “attacked” by vampires?
BELIEF #1: VAMPIRES ARE MORE ACTIVE IN THE DARK.
Some of these vampires already live inside of us – the INTERNAL VAMPIRES – and they feast at night, when it’s dark and quiet, when you least expect it. They are the thoughts and ideas that race through our minds of self-doubt, fear, worry, and lies. When the environment is quiet, your mind takes over and feeds you these thoughts. Over time, as we continue to play and replay them, we can start to become a victim of our own negative thinking, whether true or not.
I am not smart enough.
I wish I looked like her.
I don’t know where to start.
She is mad at me.
I can’t do it.
I don’t have a degree or experience.
I don’t think they like me.
They are talking about me.
It’s never going to work.
We are attacked by our own negative perceptions of our skills, abilities, education and self-worth. We ambush ourselves by doubt and skepticism and these internal vampires can slowly drain our confidence. They can be persistent, yet they can also be defeated.
SOLUTION: Start a gratitude journal, write down your thoughts and ideas, make note of your strengths and aspirations and use them to reflect and affirm. Ask yourself if it is true, if you know it to be true, or is it something you created in your own head. Surround yourself with people you trust and who believe in you, your goals, and are invested in your success.
BELIEF #2: VAMPIRES ARE BLOODTHIRSTY.
In order to sustain themselves, EXTERNAL VAMPIRES are people that consistently attack and can continue to belittle, devalue, and undermine you if you’re not careful. Often, they never take risks or get out of their comfort zone, but they will be the first to tear you down and are waiting for you to fail. Their attacks are incessant and hurtful. They may gossip, lie, criticize, make things personal, and they don’t stop. These vampires will suck the energy out of you. Initially, they may be drawn to your energy, but they don’t know how to collaborate or have synergy to grow together. Instead, they seek credit or recognition for work they may not have done or may even assign blame and try to discredit colleagues. This type of behavior demonstrates their true motivation and can “suck” the energy from you or your project. When you lose your energy, you become weak, tired, and vulnerable - thereby losing your focus, your vision, your passion, and your motivation.
SOLUTION: Cut off the source. Don’t let them feed on your energy. Learn how to Disconnect to Connect.
BELIEF #3: VAMPIRES ARE REPELLED BY GARLIC.
File this under self-sabotage! To subscribe to this theory is to believe that in order to get these detractors off your back (or neck!) that your performance or outcome has to “stink”, that if you prove ineffective, these vampires will be forced to seek a different target. What if you were NOT in the limelight? What if you failed? What if you didn’t try so hard? What if you quit? Is that what you feel it would take for them to leave you alone? If you lower your standards to appease the nay-sayers, they win! You are paralyzed by the fear of these vampires lurking in the shadows, waiting for the minute you step into the light to share an idea, launch a business, or step into a new endeavor to launch their attack.
SOLUTION: These things may never happen! You cannot control the actions or reactions of others. If you are holding yourself hostage because you are fearful of what people will say or how they will react, you have already lost! You can only and should only be you. You should not have to dim your light for anyone. You were created to be special and were given unique gifts, skills, personality, and talents for them to come to light in order to bless others.
Thankfully, vampires are fictional characters. The preceding beliefs can lead to the creation of these EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES: manifestations of fear, lies, and self-doubt! BUT, they can only hurt you if you let them. They have no soul and there is no substance – so much so that vampires cannot even see their own reflection in a mirror. Vampires are not allowed to enter a house unless invited by the owner. Don’t allow them in! Guard your thoughts and do not solicit them to invade your space, your home, your hopes, and your ideas. In order to beat these vampires, be familiar with and believe in the real truth and you will be able to defeat your fear and doubt. Step into the light, cut off the source, and don’t let anything hold you back. It is time to thrive!
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All Rights Reserved.
Dr. Natalie Phillips is the founder and CEO of Connect4Excellence, a company dedicated to connect individuals and their businesses to their own mission and culture, to connect to others at events, to connect their own unique voice with a bigger audience, and to connect to give back. She is passionate about building deep relationships and authentic connections to help make a difference in the world together. She is committed to assisting both men and women to become more of who they are and to live out their brand. She believes in creating environments in which people can connect on different levels to help their businesses succeed.
Dr. Phillips is an Audiologist with Advanced Otolaryngology and Audiology in Fort Collins, Colorado. In addition to diagnosing and treating hearing loss, tinnitus, and balance disorders of the ear, she volunteers her time as a Global Hearing Ambassador to travel overseas with the Starkey Hearing Foundation, most recently to India, Peru, Guyana, and Mexico to deliver the gift of hearing and connect them to life by fitting hearing aids on people who are unable to afford the technology.
She is a founding sister of Women Unite, a group of women whose mission is to inspire, ignite, and assist other women achieve their potential in today’s professional setting. Dr. Phillips is a Global Ambassador Emeritus and served on the Legacy Project Steering Committee, as well as currently serves as Colorado Chapter Leader for Empowering A Billion Women by 2020, an initiative to provide the tools, technology, and resources to empower women as leaders and successful entrepreneurs.